October Almost

The world feels crazy these days. Everywhere you look there are conspiracies and whispers and a deep sense that you cannot really trust anyone, and even at work people are so afraid to speak up. Recently I decided to bring something up to the bosses and it was like opening a can of worms that had already gone rusty because everyone already knew about it but no one in upper management wanted to deal with it seriously. I had enough and I said what needed to be said, and now I can sense that people do not look at me the same way they used to. I used to care about that but I do not anymore. I spoke the truth and that is all. Que sera sera.

It has been a strange year, and suddenly it is almost October, and I cannot believe how quickly the days have gone by. Part of me wants the year to just end because it has been so stressful in every possible way, and yet there are regrets and what ifs and missed opportunities that still follow me around. I know I have to do better at looking forward instead of backward, and to try and make small changes instead of carrying the weight of what is already gone.

It has been heavy, all of it. Some days I feel like I am running out of time and I do not know why. I do not know if it is normal to feel this way. But I am here, and maybe that is enough for now.