Back in April 2025, I wrote about training for my first 21km. Now it’s August. I told myself I’d write something every two weeks. I didn’t. Adulting is tough. But if I’m honest, a lot of it is me putting too much on myself. I never stop moving.
I started a YouTube channel with my good friend during the General Election. It was a lot of work, but somehow, the few videos we put up got us more than a thousand subscribers. We thought we could keep going, but with a day job, we can’t. Maybe we should try one video every few months. On top of that, I want to start my own channel. I’m looking into getting a Project Management certification. I’m volunteering. I’m reading up on investing because I want to retire with my money working for me.
I still hate my job.
The child has been a handful. I’ve been thinking about her future. Could we homeschool her? That thought is scary. I’m 46 and it feels like time is running out, which I know is silly because if I live to 100, that’s over 50 years more. Maybe it’s regret. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I had met the people I’m closest to now back in my 20s. Maybe my choices would have led me to a different life.
The world is changing so quickly. I can’t imagine what the future will look like. Every headline tells me it’s doom and gloom. It’s bleak. But at the same time, it could be a level playing field. Resources and technology are at our fingertips now. It’s about who can and will be better at accessing them first.
It’s National Day today. It just reminds me how much I’ve grown to feel like I don’t belong here anymore. Singapore feels strange to me now. I don’t recognise it. It’s too expensive. We need out. But planning an exit is tough when you’re just middle income. Sell off everything and start fresh mid-life? Maybe that’s the only way to escape this madness of a society and country. But I can’t leave now. My parents are here. Not now, but soon. So for now, I keep moving. Making plans. Trying to keep the future from swallowing me whole.
Oh yes, I completed the 21km on April 27th in 2 hours 55 minutes; below my 3-hour target. I’m really pleased.
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